


Breaking the Silence

by makeitbrighter



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, mystical magical soulmate connection transcends space and time, reach and flexibility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24619354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeitbrighter/pseuds/makeitbrighter
Summary: Garrus says goodbye to Shepard, and thinks of all the things he didn't say to her. When he gets another chance, he says it all.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Breaking the Silence

**Author's Note:**

> During and after the ME3 Destroy ending. Mostly canon except where I ignore the part where the Normandy crashed and instead pretend it was just parked outside the Kuiper Belt. I have a lot of feelings about these two and I desperately wanted to give them a happy ending. I hope you enjoy!

"Shepard, I...love you too."

Garrus stretches his arm out to her. Desperate. But Tali tightens her grip on his left hand, cinches her arm around his waist, stops him from going any further.

He thinks of that conversation about reach and flexibility. How absolutely terrified he was to show his interest. How afraid he was that this beautiful, incredible woman would shut him down. How he would lose his best friend. But he didn't. He didn't lose her.

But he was going to now. All because he didn't have the reach.

He keeps straining towards her, thinking maybe if he can break free from Tali's grip he can stretch his hand out and grab her, tell her he doesn't care, that he won't let her do this alone, that he will follow her. Anywhere.

But she's never been flexible. He looks in her eyes and knows she's made her mind up. She's doing this alone.

He thinks of Omega again. Of sitting alone above the bridge, waiting for death to inevitably come for him. He was afraid then too.

And then he saw the N7 emblem in his scope and knew that even if he was going to die, he wouldn't be alone.

He doesn't want her to be alone.

All this happens in a few desperate, frantic seconds, though on this battlefield it feels like hours. Then Shepard looks over her shoulder towards the beam. She turns her gaze back to Garrus and Tali, and she's not Shepard anymore. She's the Commander.

"Go!" she screams, and he knows it's over. He can't, he won't disobey a direct order from her. He lowers his arm in acceptance, and she turns and runs. 

He watches her go, and thinks about everything he didn't say to her.

Then Tali tugs on his arm. When she speaks, her voice is flat. "Garrus, we have to go," she says. Even though his translator and her mask, he can hear the numbness in her voice. She knows.

With Tali's help, he turns away from Shepard, and hobbles into the cargo bay of the Normandy. He tries not to think about all the conversations they had had next to the Mako. About how she had told him that words were meaningless without action.

And yet, it had taken him until now to say those words to her. He hopes his actions had showed her how much he loved her.

Loves her, he corrects himself.

He's standing there, staring at where the Mako used to be, thinking of every conversation he ever had with her. He could stand there forever.

And then Tali collapses, and he falls with her.

The fall sends pain shooting up his spine, reminding him of every bruise, every gash, every broken bone he currently has. But the physical pain is a relief from the emotional pain.

He twists around to look at Tali and winces when his neck burns.

"You're heavy," she says, with a slight laugh just on the edge of hysteria.

Garrus forces himself to his feet, then bends down to extend Tali a hand. He notices the burned patches on her armor and the noise of pain she makes as he pulls her up to her feet. He puts his arm around her shoulders, and she returns an arm around his waist. Together, they limp slowly to the elevator.

They take it up to deck 3 without talking. When the doors open, they support each other to the med bay. But once Tali is inside, Garrus knows he can't stay. He nods at her and Dr. Chakwas, and they understand.

Slowly, painfully, Garrus makes his way to the Starboard Observation Deck. He lowers himself to the floor in front of the window and draws his knees up to his chest and watches. The Normandy is moving too quickly for him to see much, but he can catch glimpses of the Citadel. Every time he does, he thinks of Shepard, of meeting her in the council tower, of kissing her on top of the Presidium, of laying in bed with her and pretending they didn't have a care in the world. 

Sometimes he says a prayer when the station comes into view. He prays to the spirits, mostly, but he includes a few for Kalahira and the Goddess, and even one to Kalros. He still doesn't know if he believes in anything, but he wants to.

He watches the Crucible dock. He watches it arm. He watches it explode outwards, like a red giant preparing for supernova. He watches until the Normandy escapes from the system and he can see nothing but blackness and the gleaming stars. Then he knows it's over.

Garrus rests his brow on his knees, and closes his eyes.

Then an agonized, searing gasp erupts from his chest. At first he's convinced he's back on Omega, lying on the floor of his base choking on his own blood again.

"Garrus," he hears Shepard say. That's the first thing he heard after regaining consciousness then, too. But he knows that she isn't here.

She's on Earth.

And he knows it, feels it in every shattered bone and shredded muscle in his body. As his lungs gasp for air, he knows that he is breathing with her. Like binary stars, they are locked to each other.

She's on Earth, and she's alive.

And he knows what he has to do.

Still aching, still bleeding, still battered, he forces himself up off the floor and to the elevator. He exits into the CIC and doesn't notice the rest of the crew as he staggers past them. His eyes are fixed on Joker.

Joker hears him coming and swivels his chair around to face him. "Garrus," he says, his voice wavering. The usual laughter in his voice is gone. "You're hurt, you need-"

Garrus raises a hand to cut him off, and looks straight into Joker's eyes as he says, "She's alive."

Joker looks away from him and shakes his head sorrowfully. "No," he mutters. "No. The whole damn Citadel blew up, we barely made ou-"

"She's alive," Garrus insists, with a fierce certainty that permeates his words.

For once, Joker is speechless. He stares at the floor, the brim of his hat hiding his face.

Garrus says it again, quietly. "She's alive." He pours every ounce of his conviction into those two words, as the surety overflows him like water surging over a dam. 

And then Joker raises his head to meet Garrus' gaze, and a minuscule spark of realization lights in his eyes.

"How?" he whispers, and Garrus can hear the barely restrained hope in his voice as he dares to imagine that it might be true.

"I don't know," Garrus responds, "but I know." And Joker believes him, believes the truth lying behind Garrus' eyes, and he turns his chair back around and goes to work. Garrus stands over Joker's shoulder as his fingers fly over his consoles, and he brings them back to Earth, to London, to Shepard.

The crew run up to the cockpit looking for answers and shout questions over the comms, but Garrus ignores them. He stands in silence behind Joker as they gently sail through the wreckage of the galaxy. The Normandy glides through the carnage and lands in the rubble of London, whisper-quiet as it was built to do.

Crew members ask what he's doing as he makes his way down to the cargo bay, but Garrus doesn't respond. He only has one thing left to say. 

A soft breeze meets him as he steps back onto Earth. He doesn't know how long it's been. Probably only a few hours, but it feels like years.

He breathes in and feels Shepard breathe with him. He wanders the battlefield, searching for any sign of her. It takes time.

Of course he sees the N7 first. At first it's the only sign he sees of her, buried under the unknowably ancient rubble of the Citadel. He notices the insignia as her chest rises and falls, matching his exactly.

He pages the Normandy for a pickup and drops to his knees to clear the debris off her. She's badly wounded, but she's breathing. He pulls her into his lap and wraps his arms around her, those arms that couldn't reach her earlier. She doesn't move as he buries his face in her hair.

Only then does Garrus say it. The one thing he has left.

"I love you." 

And then it bursts from him, and he says all the things he's wanted to say for so long. He tells her all the ways he had fallen in love with her, all the times he had wanted to say he loved her, all the fears and dreams he had wanted to share with her but had never found the words for. He tells her she's beautiful in a thousand different ways. He tells her he'll never leave her again. He tells her all the ways they will live and love after this. He tells her he loves her, over and over again.

Garrus doesn't know how long he talks, but as the Normandy comes into view to pick them up, a sudden ray of dawn washes over them, warming his face and casting a glow on Shepard's. Her eyes slowly blink open, and she looks up into his.

"Took you long enough," she says.

For the rest of their lives, he says it every day.


End file.
